Slam+Poetry

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The the impotence of proofreading By Taylor Mali

Has this ever happened to you? You work very horde on a paper for English clash And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=) and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler. Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students. I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term that my English teacher in my sophomoric year, Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague. And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague. Not just anal community colleague, because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague. I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation, I really need to be challenged, challenged menstrually. I know this makes me sound like a stereo, but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal colleague. So I needed to improvement or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison (in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch. For instant, if you accidentally leave a word your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you. And God for billing purposes only you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling your spell Chekhov might replace a word with one you had absolutely no detention of using. Because what do you want it to douch? It only does what you tell it to douche. You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit. It just goes to show you how embargo one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint. The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties out loud to all of my assmates. I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal. It was the most humidifying experience of my life, being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice: One: There is no prostitute for careful editing. And three: When it comes to proofreading, the red penis your friend.

Translation:

Has this ever happened to you? You work very hard on a paper for english class, And then you get a very low grade on it (like a D, or even a D-) And all because you are the world's worst speller. Proofreading your papers is a matter of the utmost importance.

This is a problem that affects many, many students. I myself was such a bad speller once upon a time that my english teacher in my sophomore year, Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good college. And that's all I ever wanted, just to get into a good college. And not just any community college, because I wouldn't be happy at any community college. I needed a place that would offer me intellectual stimulation. I needed to be challenged, challenged mentally. I know this makes me sound like a *stereo*********************************, but I really wanted to go to an Ivy League college. So I needed to improve, Or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Yale, or Princeton (in Princeton, New Jersey)

So I got myself a spell checker and figured I was on Easy Street.

But there are several mistakes that a spell checker can't catch. For instance, if you accidentally leave out a word, Your spell checker won't put it in for you And god forbid you should have serious problems with your spelling Your spell checker might replace a word with one you had absolutely not intention of using. Because what do you want it to do? It only does what you tell it to do. You're the one with your hand on the mouse going click, click, click. It just shows you how embarrassing one careless click of the mouse can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior year The teacher read my entire paper on A Tale of Two Cities out loud to all of my classmates. I'm not joking, I'm totally serious. It was the most humiliating experience of my life, being laughed at publicly.

So do yourself a favour, and follow these two pieces of advice: One: there is not substitute for careful editing of your own work. and Two: When it comes to proofreading, the red pen is your friend.

This entire poem is and example of irony. This is because it is talking about proofreading your papers before submitting them, but there are many spelling and grammar mistakes that alter the literal meaning of the poem. This also provides humour to the reader. The poem also contains repitition, "... clit, clit, clit" (line 11, stanza 4), as well as "... that your spell checker can't can't catch catch." (line 2, stanza 4). Within the poem, there are metaphors and similes. For example, "... I'm totally cereal..." (line 4, stanza 5), and "I know this makes me sound like a stereo..." (line 10, stanza 2).